ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
