I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize