I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize