Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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