why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
