You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize