What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
