thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
