I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I need water and some morals
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
