well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
