I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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