The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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