summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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