Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
