hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
