It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
