Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
