Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize