Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
