I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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