Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize