I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
