Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
