just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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