Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
