If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize