You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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