I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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