ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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