he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
