she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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