went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
