She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
