Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
