Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
