...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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