flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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