I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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