i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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