Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
