Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
