I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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