I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
