Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I AM VODKA MAN
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
