I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I lost the right to judge tonight
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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