Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
