well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
