Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
