just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
