taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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