STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
