Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
