it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
this hospital has no fireball
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
