i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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