i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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