is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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