I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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