you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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