At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize