38 yer olds are good kisserssss
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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