My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
