I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
