You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
