No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
