I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
