I love black thongs
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
