honey bunches of taint.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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